It’s a difficult time for a mother, watching their children one by one ‘fly the nest’ to become fully-fledged independent adults. You’ve cared and nurtured them for the best part of two decades, but it is, of course, a wonderful step in the journey of your family – and one in which you can be a positive participant. Whether or not you’re brimming with emotion at the point at which they get the keys and wave you goodbye, it’s important to be there for your children in order to help in their first step into the unknown.
RENTING AND BUYING EXPERIENCE
One thing that your children will not be able to deny is that you have far more experience in securing rental contracts or a mortgage than your children. It’s therefore not the behaviour of a busybody or an over-attentive mum to offer your assistance in this department. Walk them through the steps to securing a home and what they’ll need to consider – like utility providers, household insurance, safety and security (contact details of a local locksmith in case they get locked out) – as additional extras that’ll eat a little into their monthly budgets. Check out the accommodation options in your area to get an idea of what prices are acceptable, and bear this in mind when your children are house hunting.
Most mums and dads will be unable to wave their children out of their familial home without sending them off with a few essentials to keep them above water and operating well in their first week or two. Some parents bulk-buy essential foodstuff, like pasta, rice, sauces or spices and herbs. Others take care of the kitchen equipment, while others still make sure that their children are, at the very least, provided with the linen and sheets for their new bed. Launch your children into a positive new start by providing them with a few essentials when they leave for a new home.
MOVING OUT AND IN
The actual move is something that the whole family is likely to help out with in one way or another. As a parent, you’ll be able to help them move their things and work out where to put them. You’ll also be able to take a tour of their new place to help them identify where the fuse box is, or how the washing machine works. Being present at this phase of the moving out process will mean that you’re able to offer your experience whenever it’s required.
This is all about striking a balance; after all, your children are growing old enough to run a house on their own, and as such, they should be left to stand on their own two feet – and fall every so often, too. At the same time, they’re still young adults with mistakes and errors in the pipeline. Ensure you’re going to be available to offer your motherly support as and when it might be necessary to do so – but don’t micromanage your children once they’ve moved out – it’ll only alienate them.
When children move out of their familial home, it’s a step into the unknown. Help as best you can without being overbearing with the above four tips.